Hello Rain!

It is finally raining - and COLD! Started last Saturday, it's been on and off since.

I am loving it though, rain here means snow up in the mountains. And snow means time to hit the slopes! I honestly would rather be snowboarding than Christmas shopping!

It's been forever...

... since I last made a blog entry. Ok, two weeks seems forever! And for that, I'm going to do some quickies:

• I was off during the week of Thanksgiving. Wonder baby was sick Monday, Tuesday, started getting better Wednesday.... and inevitably, by the time I picked up wonder boy from school on Wednesday afternoon, it was his turn to be sick - which lasted pretty much til Friday. .. which left me 2 days to at least enjoy my 9 days off!


• The hubs and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on the 26th. We really wanted to go out of town and celebrate. Maybe Tahoe (where we got married) or San Francisco (our favorite spot), but I just wasn't ready to leave the baby overnight. So instead, we went to dinner and a movie, and it was still a nice treat for us both!

I made him a card (I scrapbook, but NEVER made cards, so this is my first
card, which makes it extra special : )

And he got me roses.

• And YES, I didn't get laid off, which meant I was able to get my sewing machine! I didn't get the Singer that I had planned on getting because this Brother model became available on sale at Costco.com (I think it's still on sale right now). Anyways, it's totally a beginner sewing machine, quite inexpensive, but a super nice reward to myself. I haven't used an actual sewing machine since um 5th or 6th grade in the Philippines, using one of those Black antique Singers. Needless to say, it took me almost an hour to thread my computerized machine.... but after that, all's been swell! As a matter of fact, just this afternoon I finished sewing wonder boy's sheperd costume for his Christmas program at school this Saturday.


• Aside from the sewing, I have been completely busy scrapbooking as well. My thoughts of creativity has been rapidly turning... or spinning, and I am cooking up something completely crafty and ambitious in my head, but I'm going to have to share that thought later.


• Everything else is pretty normal around here.... except a little more festive than usual. Wonder baby is enjoying our lit-up tree which we haven't yet decorated! And sometime this weekend, wonder boy and I are going to write a letter to Santa!

That's it so far. Just busy, normal, and festive!

Leaving off with this super yummy home made thin mint cookies that husband and i slaved over the other night! Mmmmm Mmmm Mmmm.

. . .

Love Thursday: gratitude

Today is the big "layoffs" here at work. The clouds gloomed over our 6 buildings as I drove up around 9 am. I walked in the building and into my area to find everyone staring at their monitors and clicking quietly, pretending to work, while they sit and wonder if they are next to be called in the doomed conference room, stocked with kleenex!

Shortly after I got settled in, my boss calls me in his office. I saw a smile on his face, a sincere one, so I knew that he was about to tell me something good. "You're safe", he said. ... as I plopped with relief into the chair in front of his desk.

More details were discussed... then I thanked him, and I told him that i really, trully, love my job!

I've been here over 8 years now. This is so far the second round of RIFs. First one was around the dot com crash in the early 2000s.

Leaving your house to drive to work and not knowing whether you are coming back home jobless is probably one of the worst feelings in the world... for anyone. Especially now, during this hard economic time.

So today, for love thursday, I am loving my job. Most of all, I am thankful.

Late night crafty

Quilting's been on my mind lately. In the next 4 weeks or so, I am determined to learn how to quilt and put together a baby quilt using the boys' newborn clothes (my favorite ones that I just couldn't give away!)

One problem though, I don't even own a sewing machine.

Another problem, I'm not sure that I even know how to use one. Last time I used one, was over twenty years ago!

I hear great things about hand quilting. But that's just not me! So next Thursday, when I find out that I'm NOT getting laid-off, I am going to dash to Costco after work and pick me up the Singer 1748, which I've been dying to get my hands on.

So in the meantime, I just had to take my mind off quilting so I came up with this quilt-ish patchwork of pretty christmas papers, framed it on my $3 Walmart frame, and voila - we're calling it a day!

It's my holiday inspiration! I can now stare at it while I work on my holiday scrapbooking projects.

(By the way, I'm not taking full credit for this, I got the framed-artwork idea from my life artist super hero Ali Edwards).

. . .

Another Irony

So if you live with me, every now and then you will hear me bitching about not having enough ME time or ALONE time.

And so today I decided to work from home because I have the nastiest cold ever.

Wonder baby left with the hubs and just shortly after, I dropped off wonder boy to school.

And now, here I am, all alone, in this super quiet house. Aside from the fact that I feel like crap, I should still be in a celebratory mode because it is a very very RARE event that I get the house all to myself, all day long!

And yet, I feel so lonely!

I miss my boys.

The quiet is deafening.

What is the matter with me?!?!?!?

Maybe it's a really bad flu.

Or maybe, it's just is - life is full of irony!

So the next time I have to bitch about not having time for myself, I might just have to remember this moment, and sssssush.

. . .

A new day, A new beginning

I don't usually talk about politics on my blog. As a matter of fact, I don't even talk to anyone about my political views besides my husband. But since today is such a historical moment, I want to remember it when I look back.

I've never been so passionate about my vote before, and I've never been so concerned about what is about to happen - that is, until I became a parent.

With everything that is going on in the economy, things are pretty ugly right now. And the ugliness might even hit home soon, because my job might even be in jeopardy. But in the midst of this ugliness, I am feeling quite optimistic.

So today, I celebrate: A new day, A new beginning.

. . .

Halloween Weekend Events

Another busy weekend!

Halloween morning was spent at wonder boy's school for the Harvest Festival:

More pictures HERE

Halloween evening was spent trick or treating & eating with friends and family:

More pictures HERE

Then Saturday was spent attending a wedding anniversary celebration:

More pictures HERE

Then finally, Sunday was spent recovering from it all!

(Picture links are not working just yet, I will update with pictures soon!)

. . .

Bloody Vampire

Since it's Halloween and all!

BLOODY

Wonder Boy managed to obtain his FIRST major BOO-BOO this past weekend! By "major" I mean, bloody boo boo dripping all over the carpet, through the hallway, and into the bathroom. He was out in the garage watching (admiring) his daddy work on his mechanical monsters, when he decided to put something in my car (coins I think), and afterwards, shut the door on his finger - ouch!

I was putting the baby to nap when I heard frantic hubby and sobbing son in the bathroom. He cried and cried and cried....

Me: Honey, so tell mommy what happened?

Him: [crying] I don't
know....I.... I ..... I..... I can't think RIGHT NOW [crying louder]

more small talk to try to calm him down.... blah blah blah

Him: [still crying] mommy, it HURTS, I....I......I..... I don't know
what to do with
myself!

It's painful to watch him hurt, but the words coming out of his mouth were
almost too hilarious that I had to hide my chuckle!

VAMPIRE

So it turns out that the "normal" order for teeth growth starts with the two bottom, then the two top, then the next two bottom, and the next two top.

Wonder baby had been teething for as long as I can remember. He's always been a drooly baby who always wants to chew on stuff! But the first signs of teeth breaking in didn't come until just a few weeks ago. And boy are they coming!

But get this, right now, he's got 3 bottom out, 4th one almost out. Then totally skipped the 2 front teeth, and went on with the 3rd ond 4th. Lookie:



Just in time for Halloween!

So for now, I am calling him "FANGS"!

. . .

Love Thursday: I love this season

I love the hot weather, the tank tops, and the flip flops.

And although I hate driving in the rain, I love this season just as well. I love the cold crisp air, the holidays, snowboarding, christmas shopping, and dessert baking.

Honestly, I am feeling quite festive already.

A little bit overwhelmed, but festive.

The fall and winter seasons' a big event in our family. Just in the next three and half months we will be celebrating Halloween, Thanksgiving, Wedding Anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, wonder baby's 1st Birthday, and wonder boy's 4th Birthday!

So yeah, just a little bit overwhelmed.

But festive.

And I love this season!

. . .

On Grooming

Wonder Boy: Mama, why do you have spots on your face?

Me: Oh honey, those are pimples.

Wonder Boy: Why?

Me: I get them sometimes, um, maybe once a month I get a few

Wonder Boy: Oh.

(reaching over to touch my face now)

Wonder Boy: Oh mommy, you have hair on your face too! You get that
sometimes TOO?

You see, grooming is something never to be taken for granted, specially when you have a 3-yr old child in the house - they are THE most honest little people, and they will tell it like it is!

Baby Clothes

I must've spent half a day this past weekend cleaning out the boys' room. Piles and piles of laundry stacked up on the bed, piles that I've been ignoring for a good two weeks or so. There I was, sitting in the middle of my son's day bed, almost lost in the piles, when it suddenly occurred to me, why oh why, have I been trying to shove this chore aside.

Besides that I'm lazy and I'm tired all the time.

I've been just trying to push it aside, because, I hate-hate-hate putting away baby clothes. And I don't mean putting away the clothes into their specific drawers. I meant putting AWAY baby clothes in boxes, to be given away, or shipped away, never ever to be seen again.

Hubby and I are in total complete agreement with the fact that we are done having babies. And so far, we've been able to put away stuff - the bassinet, the crib, and sometime this week, the infant carseat - without me shedding a single tear.

But the clothes, the baby clothes, it's a whole different territory.

I quickly went through the newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6 months, 9 months, and now that he's almost outgrowing his 12 month-size clothing, it is hitting me hard. My baby, my not so little tiny baby, has quickly grown out of infancy. And now that he's growing teeth, crawling, and standing, and trying so hard to take a step, I just want to scoop him up in my arms, and let him fall asleep on my chest, like when he first came home with us, not so long ago.

You see, with wonder boy, I was excited about every new milestone up ahead, excited about the newer, bigger, cuter clothes, with dinosaurs and cars and trucks for big boys. But this time around, with wonder baby, I just want him to stay little for as long as he could. His baby breath, his chubby arms and hands, his thunder thighs, his baby side burns, his baby powdery scent that sometimes gives me chills down my spine.

I want it.

And I'm holding on to it.

Although I know that his babiness is not going to be here forever. One day, sooner than later, he's going to walk, talk, and have a mind of his own.

He's not just going to walk, but he will probably run away from me and I will have to chase him sometimes. He's not just going to talk, but one day, he's also going to talk back to me, and it will pierce my heart. He's not only going to have a mind of his own, but he's going to make some decisions that will be against mine, and I will have to let him learn his own lessons, even if it eats me up alive.

One day.

Someday.

But not today.

Because today, I will hang on to the little baby clothes, even if it means, cluttering his drawers, and closet, and the laundry hampers. Even if it means, it's going to take me an extra 2 minutes just to figure out what to put on him or which ones actually fit him now. Even if it means that some days, I'm going to get irritated because why oh why can't I shut his drawer closed, and in the midst of being upset with myself, I will probably forget and wonder why didn't I put the small clothes away in the first place!

Yes, even if it means all of that.

His baby clothes.....they're mine, and i want it, and I'm holding on to it.

. . .

Scrappy Friday

I have to fess up - I have been partially ignoring my blog lately because I have been busy croppin and shoppin for my renewed love for scrapbooking! It's good and bad I guess. Good because I love the art therapy, and even more, the finished product. Bad, because I haven't done much chores around the house lately because the only free time I get - usually when the boys are asleep - I spend cropping. Plus, I've been to Michael's twice this week and to JoAnn's twice as well. With that said, time and money = happy sane me!

So just to catch up with what's been going on in my life lately, I'm going to (shame on me) do bullets:

• Wonder boy is writing his letters really well, his whole name almost legible and most importantly did not cry or fuss during morning drop-off's to preschool ALL WEEK LONG. I think we've solved the problem, and Houston, we are coming home!

• Wonder Baby is being more active than ever. Fearless, independent, brave child of mine, who this week alone, must've fallen on his butt, face, and body a million times, and that hasn't stopped him. He's even tried climbing our stairs (successfully reached second step up), so I had to put the gate back up.

• I have skipped kickboxing ALL WEEK LONG and feel really guilty, and even worse - BLOATED!


• I have a load of recorded shows on my dvr because I have spent my evenings ditching my husband to go upstairs and play with my scraps. So I'm hoping to catch up on tv watching this weekend.


• My list of projects, ideas, and to do list are just getting longer and longer and I'm afraid that I'm in over my head, but what the heck, at least I have a list!

Maybe it's old age, or maybe it's just me, but it seems like the days are shorter and the weeks are flying by with a blink of an eye.

Oh well, at least it's Friday!

. . .

Love Thursday: my bff

Rochelle, who turned 34 yesterday. Who became my friend when she was 14, twenty years ago! Lost her somewhere in between, and found her again in 2002. According to Meredith from Grey's Anatomy, we all need "a person". Lucky for me, she IS "my person". The one who I can talk to about anything and everything. The one who I HAVE to talk to about anything and everything. I only wish that she wasn't all the way in Maryland, because life would probably be so much different if she were down the street.

But anyhow, near or far, she's always just a phone call away, and near my heart.

Happy love thursday to all, and Happy Birthday to you my bff!

. . .

THE Concert - NKOTB

More pictures HERE

New Kids on the Block reunion concert.

I cannot even believe that here I am, 20 years later, and found myself screaming my heart out for the fabulous 5! Oh, how I loved seeing Joey McIntyre!!!!

Even more, how I loved feeling like a 13-yr old all over again. How free, how easy, how simple life was back then - no bills, no kids, nobody to worry about except for me and the NKOTB posters in my room.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to rewind and do it all over again. I just loved the flashbacks it gave me. I love my kids more than anything in this world, and although I hate hate hate doing the bills, I am thankful that I have a job that pays the bills, the same job which helped me get up in the penthouse suite to begin with!

TGI FRIDAY!

Weekends haven't been this exciting for me for a very long time.

Tonight is THE big concert - New Kids on The Block - for FREE, in our corporate suite, with food and alcohol. I cannot even believe that here I am, 20 years later, and i'm getting really giddy about seeing them!

Then Saturday morning, mi familia is going on a ROAD TRIP for the very first time, with us 5. Driving down the scenic 101 to Pismo Beach and spending one night in a luxurious ocean view suite.

Fun, fun, fun!

. . .

Bad dream

For the first time ever (i think), Wonder Boy had a nightmare.

him: mommy, I dream that there were monsters in our house

me: what kind of monsters?

him: ummmm, green and blue and white and red and white monsters

me: wow! that's a colorful monster bunch

him: yeah

me: so what did the monsters do?

him: they laughed with scary monster laugh

me: oh?

him: yeah, like BWAHAHAHAHA

me: that is scary

him: I don't want to go to sleep ever again.... i don't want to dream monsters again mommy!

me: oh honey, it just so happened that I forgot to tell you "sweet dreams" last night

him: did you tell me "bad dreams"?

me: no, nobody says have a bad dream!

him: ok, next time I sleep don't forget to tell me sweet dreams... k

me: ok

Keeping my fingers crossed that the "sweet dreams" bid works for a while. Because I don't know what I'd say to him the next time he has a nightmare and refuses to go to sleep!

. . .

1-800-222-1222

.... is the number for Poison Control.

.... and OMG for the first time EVER - we had to call it!

I was putting the baby to bed last night when I heard hubby frantically say to wonder boy "OMG, do not eat that!".... a pause.... "here drink some water" (still frantic).

I go to the kitchen to find an almost hysterical husband who is trying to stay calm. Apparently, the boy ate, or at least tried to eat, the inside of those gel packets that you find in almost anything and everything.

The gel packet that clearly states "DO NOT EAT!". The gel packet which I have shown to the boy over and over and over again, and have told him not to eat. But if you haven't noticed, we are in the midst of a late-terrible-threes phase, so I guess he felt like he just HAD to just give it a try anyways.

So while hubby was calling THE NUMBER, I was holding the baby while trying really hard to keep calm. I stayed calm while he was on the phone. The phone call was short and brief, but was probably the longest phone call ever. Because all I wanted to do was to scream, curl up in a fetal position, and suck on my thumb!

And still I stayed calm.

Poison control said it was ok. If anything, those gel thingees are more of a choking hazard, not a poisonous hazard.

WHEW!

I hope to never have to call that number again.

. . .

Love Thursday: love for art therapy

After completing wonder boy's manila folder homework, a sudden urge to scrap is slowly creeping up to me. But I keep shoving it, and blocking it, and denying it... like, who's got time for that? I don't even have money to go shopping for crafts anymore! homework or scrapbook?

But clearly, I need to just open my arms and embrace it, because it is something that I love. And maybe, just maybe, art therapy is what I need to get to my place of zen once again.

So, maybe I'm not a scrapbooking drop-out after all, just on hiatus.


. . .

Can't believe it's already October

And what a good 1st day of the month it is!

• Baby boy turns 8-months old today
• Wonder boy had a wonderful day at school
• I had about 8 hours of sleep last night (seriously!)

and finally

• I got 2 FREE tickets to see NKOTB next weekend!

. . .

Another post about preschool

Today

I was going to write about our fun-filled family night at the drive-INs last Saturday.

I was going to write about my alone time with hubby and baby Saturday afternoon running errands and going to Walmart and running into an old-long-lost friend whom I need to do more catching up with.

I was going to write about last night's Back 2 School night at the preschool, and how proud and grateful we are that wonder boy is going to this school. And how surprised we were to find out that he already knows his months from January all the way to December!

and I was going to write about how happy I am with how far he's come with his swimming lessons, because yesterday, he was able to do his pop-ups more than half the length of the pool for the first time ever.

and finally, I was going to write about how, his last two days of school last week, I was able to drop him off, without fuss and tears, just a big boy good-bye, and see ya later mom.

But instead, I'm going to write about another horrible morning drop-off at preschool! And how I spent an hour of my work time googling for HELP on the subject matter.

So help me god!

I am really, really, really tired of it. So tired to the point that I was compulsive enough to consider even changing schools on him. Yeah, like that's really going to resolve our issue.

But seriously, ironic how, in the midst of this dilemma, I received a phone call last Friday from one of the prestigious schools that I signed up for months and months ago, with the news that they have 1 spot open if I am still interested.

So, I totally and completely got all worked up with the idea that maybe, just maybe, he will like it better there, and that, we are going to save almost two hundred dollars a month, meaning, I can maybe buy myself some new shoes, or a purse, or maybe an expensive hair cut. LoL!

Whatever.

I was soooooooo dreaming! Not just about the shoes, and the purse! But the whole idea that this school is the answer to my problems.

First of all, the tuition was a lot more than what they told me over the phone. Secondly, the teacher was sooooo MEAN. And as an adult, who tries to write, and use fancy words once in a while, I really want to avoid trying to use that word, but there's no other words to describe her but "MEAN". She was literally yelling at some of the kids who were already teary-eyed while they were in line to wash their hands, so hubby and I thought, sheesh, if you're like that while we're here, I don't even want to know what happens when we're not.

Surely, she has some good teacher qualities, which is why she's a teacher, but something just told me that a classroom full of super-behaved 3yr-olds just felt a little bit eerie to me. To make the matters even worse, on our way out, our "tour" person told us that if money was an issue, and that if we couldn't come up with the stated $11k/year tuition fee, that, we can probably work something out! WTF is this? a car sales woman trying to wheel and deal me into signing up my child? So, we left, and said, thanks... but NO THANKS!

Now back to my REAL problem.

This morning, wonder boy happily and excitedly got ready for school, because get this, he's this week's V.I.P. - meaning, he gets to bring something for show & tell each day, and he gets to be line leader, and most of all, teacher's helper. And let's not forget, he gets to show off more stuff about himself. So I put this together.... in the wee hours of the night:





I'm a scrapbooking drop-out so I had all the stuff on hand, it was just a matter of getting them all together, which is pretty much what kept me up until 1 o'clock in the morning.

Now, really, back to my story....

Same old story, skipping and hopping along the parking lot, cheery good mornings to the passer by's... skip some more.... and hop some more.... until...... sccccrrreeeeccccchhhhhhh!!!!!! He froze like a statue and hung on my leg all over again, and this time, he cried, out loud, really loud..... I WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

And just like that, we are back to square one.....for the eleventeenth time.

. . .

Baby Kisses

Today he kissed me,
for the very first time
Mouth wide open
Slobber all over
It was wet
It was precious
It was priceless
Moments like this,
happen only once
Baby's first kisses,
will forever be mine.


I love you always
- m o m m y

. . .

Love Thursday

In the spirit of Shutter Sisters' love thursdays, today is going to be my love post.

The other day, hubby surprised me with a movie rental - - "Sex in the City" (loved it!)

Not only did he (surprise) rent it for me (the first week it came out on dvd), but he also watched it with me. Although he called it the "ultimate chick-flick", he liked the movie too (i think!)

Now, how many husbands out there will do such a thing?

Probably not that many!

Sometimes in the midst of our hectic lives filled with poopie diapers and challenging schedules, we can easily take for granted the small things in life that matters most. But it's the little stuff like this that constantly reminds me of why I fall in love with him over and over and over again♥

. . .

What is it?

My friend does it 5 times a week.

I'd like to do it that many times too, but with work, school, and little rugrats, I'm now only capable of doing it 3 times a week.

It's hot and sweaty and sometimes steamy. In the end, we need our towels to clean up.

And sometimes, when we've had just about enough of, we say words that we shouldn't say. like - shit. fuck. & oh god.

It's physical, and sometimes maybe even emotional. But it's definitely good for the heart, body, and soul.

What is it?

-----

-----

-----

-----
-----

-----

It's kickboxing!

And we ♥ it so!

Shame on you and your dirty mind!!!!

. . .

The baby story

About three weeks after he was born, I thought, how good of GOD to have such a grand plan and give me this boy as my second child.... because if he gave him to me first, I probably would've stopped there!

He was super cute, BUT, he was also colicky, cranky, and constantly crying!

In other words, he was difficult. And all along during my pregnancy, I did not worry about a thing, because I thought, I had this mommy thing down to the T!

NOT!

I bought books, googled day and night, and hubby and I watched DVDs like "the happiest baby on the block", which, was totally helpful, for a few short weeks, then I needed something more.

So needless to say, on top of my eye issues (which I still need to post about), PPB (yes, truly, i had THE WORST case of PPBs), and cranky, colicky, crying baby, I was in the brink of a breakdown.

Until one unexpected day out of nowhere, baby boy was completely transformed. AS IF i had a brand new baby in tow. Alas! the books were so right! All of them stated that at about 3 months of age, babies get used to their new life outside the womb and start to get the hang of it all.

And yes, my baby boy fell in that category, and yey! for his 3 month old bday, which should've been celebrated with a party... (and perhaps alcohol for mommy : )

And here we are, a week shy of his 8-month old bday, and I am just at awe at how independent and easy he is. Yes, I said it - E.A.S.Y.

He's super mellow and happy as long as he's fed, dry and not sleepy!

And just in the last few weeks, he's learned how to hold his own bottle, crawl, sit-up, and he's even trying to climb the couch!

I'd like to think that he's "advanced" (sure, all of us moms would like to think that). But in reality, I think he's one feisty and determined little baby. I see how he observes his big brother ALL the time, and he wants to play with him, he wants to run with him, and talk to him.

I think he thinks he's doing that already.



He can think ALL he wants, but for now, he's still my teeny little baby, who's baby breath I dream about (while I am at work) and who's little toes I like to bite (nom nom nom).


. . .

ONCE UPON A nap-TIME

So after many attempts of getting an accurate answer from wonder boy about what it is that he likes and not like about school, it all comes down to not-liking naptime. Sunday night when I told him that he needed to get ready for bed early because of school the next day, he immediately went into a stress-mode.

me: honey, you have to go to sleep now because you have to wake up early since you have school tomorrow.

him: mommy, i don't want to go, i don't want to nap there.

me: you don't want to go to school?

him: i want to go to school, but i don't want to nap there. pick me up during dinnertime? (he meant lunch time!)

me: mommy cannot pick you up at lunch, i have to go to work.

him: but you take so long, i don't want to nap there.

me: ok tomorrow, i'm going to talk to the office and see what i can do

THE NEXT DAY - I went to his school office and changed his status from "napper to non-napper", which means that he gets to go do other activities in the afternoon instead of napping. HOWEVER, they are required to have 30 minutes of rest time (just sitting down, head down on the table).

him: so i'm not going to nap, right?

me: nope, you're going to the big kids' room after lunch

him: ok, bye, see ya! (dashed off to his friends, no hugs, no kisses, no hanging on my legs!)

AFTERNOON PICK-UP

I had to pick up his back pack and lunch box from his homeroom.

homeroom teacher: He was soooooo happy today, told me 3 times that he didn't have to nap anymore! go ahead and pick him up from the other room.

I left the room to go to the other room, only to find him drooling on the right side of his face, with drool hanging from his mouth, through his forearm, and on to the table, dead-asleep, snoring as loud as a hog! (Unfortunately, i forgot my phone in the car, because that picture was worth a thousand words!)

afternoon activities teacher: I ask all the kids in here for rest time, and he fell asleep 3 minutes after sitting down.

Woke him up and started walking to the parking lot.

me: honey, i thought you didn't want to nap?

him: oh no mommy, i wasn't napping, i just had to rest my head down because teacher said!


. . .

To clean or not to clean

That is the question.

After having kids, I realized that I'm borderline type-A. So there are some things in my life that needs to be in place... such as routines and to-do-lists.

The other day, a co-worker/friend, gave me an advice, which I took to the heart. She said

If you really, truly, want to keep a balanced life, and want to spend
quality time with your kids, stop cleaning the house!

When I first heard it, I thought, seriously? seriously?!! Not that my house is sparkly clean at all times, but for the most part, to keep my sanity, I like to keep things organized, dishes washed, floor mopped, and carpet vacuumed. Now laundry, laundry is a whole other story, which I will not go there now.

Point being... so often, I rant and I rant about my to-do-lists and all the things I have to do and why oh why do I have so much on my plate. And in reality, I can easily scoot some of the stuff aside.

Easier said than done of course.

But today, I said, what the heck, what's there to lose.

So instead of cooking dinner, and doing the dishes, and sorting the laundry and whatever else I had on my monday afternoon schedule.... I took my boys to the playground.

And I am so glad I did!

Wonder baby got to go on his first swing ride. And as we walked all the way home, wonder boy kept thanking me for taking them to the park!

In the end, I realized, there is definitely nothing wrong with the dishes piled up in the sink, or the occasional take-out dinners. Because when these two boys grow up (and they're going to grow up fast!), they're not going to remember how clean their house was, or how often did mommy cook dinner for them... they're going to remember days like this... walking to the park, and riding on the swing.

And for me, that a darn good enough reason to live in a not-so clean house!

17

...number of days that wonder boy has been going to school.

And today, day 18, he decides to hang on to my leg like a chimpanzee who just found his mommy chimpanzee for the first time in 20 chimpanzee years. It took me and his teacher and our 4 hands/arms to peel him off of my numbing leg.

I dashed to the door as soon as he got peeled off, and I knew I shouldn't have looked back, but I did! He looked at me with his eyes saying.... "mommy, i hate you for leaving me here... i hate you, i hate you, i hate you!" and he started to cry. And as I exited the door, the cry got louder and LOUDER!

I ran to my car and burst into tears. Should I go back? Should I take him home? What's wrong with this place? What is he not liking about it? He was fine yesterday, what's the difference between then and now?

The thing is, he was skipping and hopping and singing from the car to his classroom, then suddenly, he morphed into a shy, scared, and anti-social chimpanzee.

Most mommies I know re-assures me that it's only a matter of time, and that their child took 2 long months of balling and crying every drop-off before they finally got the hang of it. I really thought I was one of those lucky ones who'll never have to experience this feeling. THIS feeling of utter guilt and helplessness.

But I'm feeling it.

And it sucks!

Sleep is for the Weak: the good, the bad, and the ugly!

THE GOOD: I received my copy yesterday in the mail. As you know, I have a blog, and I like to occasionally read other people's blogs, but I've never been an avid follower of any one particular blog. But this book..... I have to say..... I LOVE IT! I'm only halfway through, and will probably be done by tonight. I laughed, I cried, cracked-up, and cried some more! Everything that I ever felt, but never really knew how to say, has been written (for me!), thank God I wasn't the only one thinking and feeling that way, and no longer have to question my sanity ; )

THE BAD: I skipped doing my homework last night because I couldn't put the book down.

and

THE UGLY: I have since developed a sudden state of writer's block because everything that I ever wanted to write about, has been written. So, now, how do I go on with my blog, without looking like a plagiarizer (is that even a word?)

. . .

Sneaking in some quality time

It's been three weeks now since wonder boy started school, and four weeks since I've been back to work. His swimming lessons re-started this week, and my two online courses started last week. Our routine's still pretty hectic, and I'm STILL feeling guilty about certain things (like sending him to preschool 6 hours a day - everyday! And sending my baby boy to my parents house an hour earlier so that hubby can take him) but I guess that'll never really ever go away. For now, I can almost say that I'm finally getting the hang of things. And him, finally getting used to being in school.

So just to change up a bit of our mundane morning schedule, I wanted to treat my wonder boy to a little surprise. We quickly got dressed and ready to go, so by the time we were out the door, we still had a good 30 minutes to spare.


Our destination: The Golden Arches!

Nothing like quality time over a nice warm hashbrown for breakfast! Plus, he thinks it's an EXTRA special treat to actually go inside to eat (vs. the drive thru). So without making it a routine (because I have enough of those!), I think I might make this a somewhat tradition, because - despite the sticky floor and who-knows-what-is-stuck under those tables - a nice and quiet one on one time is just priceless.

. . .

Weekends - then & now

When I got on my computer this morning, I told myself that I needed to make a blog entry today. But then I didn't know what to write about, so I thought I should write about my weekend. But then I thought how uneventful my weekend was and thought, hm, how do I even begin to validate my uneventfulness!

To make a long story short, one thought led to another, until I caught myself thinking of how my weekends were, back in the days... or should I say, back in the hay days of pre-mommyhood!

I remember when weekends were....

- about going to the movies....we used to think that 11:30 pm was too early to go home, so hubby and i would catch another movie (after we just finished watching one!)

- about finding another reason to throw a party....our house used to be party central, people came over on Friday nights after work, and sometimes, they stayed until Sunday!

- about drinking and drinking some more.....I used to drink and get drunk like it was my last day on earth!

- about carefree travelling..... taking off to go out of town did not need early planning nor any kind of reservations.

- about extreme adventures and feeling invincible..... snowboarding day trips, jumping off the bridge (and drowning - lol!) and wanting to sky dive and bungee jump!

- about shopping.... and I don't mean for groceries and diapers and car seats (which by the way, we spent last saturday buying 1 carseat for baby boy and 2 booster seats for toddler wonder).... i meant shopping and spending my whole paycheck on shoes, clothes, and cigarettes!

and most importantly....

- about SLEEP and SLEEPING-IN!!!! boy, did I looooove to sleep, and how much i've forgotten what it's like to get a full 8-hr plus of sleep (um, it's been over 7 months since my last uninterrupted sleep).

I could go on and on and on about how my weekends used to be. And now, it's usually just busy, sleep-deprived, and pretty much spent doing laundry, chores, and more laundry.

(SIGH!)

I have to admit, I sometimes miss the reckless and carefree days of irresponsibility, but honestly, I would rather be doing laundry...

....because look who I get to do them with:

What's to eat?

I am having a difficult time thinking, planning, and figuring out what to pack for school lunch and what to make for dinner. The actual making part is easy for me, it's the thinking part that is difficult. With so many factors to consider: cook time, ingredients, and more importantly the health and likability factor!

Yesterday I created my weekly meal planner in my fancy excel spreadsheet. Created my shopping list as well and on my way home, I had intended to take the boys to the supermarket with me. Just when I was about ready to get them out of the house, the image of the two boys in my shopping cart (whining, fussing, and wanting this and that) suddenly popped in my head and so I decided not to go anymore. There goes my plan and my shopping list....so I just decided to wing it again and cooked this instead.....

Fried chicken drumsticks, served with rice, and corn.

I know, I know, I went for likability over health, but the family loves it and wonder boy is crazy about it. So crazy that this morning, I packed his little thermos lunch box with rice/corn/chicken and of course ketchup! And he told me how excited he was to eat his lunch!!!!

So, today, I'm going to attempt to make a trip to the supermarket again, and maybe, just maybe, stick to my plan this time.

Memo to Mommy

I found this cute article in this month's issue of Parents magazine. I thought I'd jot it down to share and also for me to remember. Sometimes we (mommies) forget.

Memo to Mommy by Mary Mohler
You have a lot of lessons to teach your little one. But he has a few words of wisdom for you too.

• Stop freaking out about the mess! There's always time to clean - but how
  often do we get to make mud pies?
• Love me, even when I'm naughty. I'll only be this age once.
• Be patient. I do everything for a reason, but I don't know enough
  words yet to give you an explanation.
• Let me do it. I know you can do it faster and better, but sometimes
  experience is the best teacher.
• Don't expect too much of me. I want to do what you ask and make you
  happy, but I'm still little.
• Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum. Trust me - I
  can't hear you over my own screaming.
• Keep your promises. It's all about trust. When I'm a teenager,
  you'll understand why it's so important.
• Don't keep asking me if I've been good. I'm not even sure what that
  means, but if I was bad I'd never admit it.
• Don't let me think that you're perfect. I feel a lot better knowing
  I'm not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes.
• Set limits. I can't actually eat a whole box of cookies - I just want
  to see if I'd get away with it.

Is it Inevitable?

That when one child gets sick, then the other one gets it too?

As if I didn't already have enough to worry about!

Just one week of school, and already he managed to get sick. He was sneezing (a lot) on his way to school on Friday. And sure enough, that was the beginning of his cold/fever/whatever it is that he has.

And now his baby brother has it too!

. . .

Friday's Humor

So last Wednesday, I picked up coffee from my favorite Caffino drive-thru on the way to drop off Lawrence. Before we got to the drive-up window, he asked if he can have a drink like the one his daddy got. Apparently, hubby bought him a child's cocoa drink last week.

So, instead of just saying NO to him, I had to tell him that I couldn't get him a drink because I only had enough money for one coffee since I spent the rest of my money yesterday picking up his school supplies. (He always needs an explanation so I'm so used to giving him the white lies, which later on comes back to haunt me!)

So then this morning, I was in dire need of a caffeine boost again, so I decided to drive by Caffino once again, and this time, they had new pictures of their new drinks/smoothies right before the drive up window.

wonder boy said: "ooooohhhh, I'm going to get that drink!"

I said: "Oh no honey, you're going to school right now, and you can't bring
your drink there"

So he said: "Oh no mommy, I'm going to get that drink next time with daddy
- he has lots of money!"

Just had to share that, Happy Friday!!!!

Wonder Baby ready to crawl

OMG! He took a couple of crawling steps, then hit the carpet with his face! I can't believe how fast things are going. My baby is ready to crawl!




So I thought I'd add this last picture with the not-so-cute dinosaur toy just to show that I've noticed lately that at almost seven months old, he already would rather play with his big brother's toys than his own's!

Day 3

of our new routine and I am ready to crack!

So yesterday I posted my venting blog. Besides my earlier issues, I think I am too worried about too many things all the time. I always hear people say that motherhood is a full time job. Hm, a full time job (usually) requires 40 hours a week. Being mommy requires all day, all night, and then some.

Just to give a little insight of my day, the typical day starts and ends like this:

6:00 - wonder baby wakes up waaaaaayyyyy too early than I want him to, and because the master's bedroom is now a family room, wonder boy is in there too, therefore, gets awaken by the baby cooos.

6:30 - jump in the shower (yey! alone time at last!), and get semi-ready

7:00 - wonder boy watching TV, wonder baby rolling on the floor, and me making or thinking what's to eat for breakfast

7:15 - 7:30 - hubby leaves for work, and on W, Th, F, takes wonder baby to my parents house.

7:30 - 8:15 - finish getting ready, eating breakfast, on M & T mom-in-law comes over to watch the baby

8:20 - leave the house to take wonder boy to school, then drive to work (sigh! morning rush is finally through)... driving time is usually spent catching up on the phone with my bff so we can gossip and vent about the previous days' events

9:00 - 1:00 - WORK.... believe it or not, it is my sanctuary - away from the crazy, busy, madness

1:00 - W, Th, F - drive to pick up the baby from my parents' house

1:30 - 2:30 - an hour to drive, run a quick errand, then pick up wonder boy from school

2:30ish - arrive at home, usually with 2 cranky boys who are either hungry/sleepy or both

3:00 - 5:00 - boys finally get out of their crankiness, i tickle a kili-kili or two, play little piggies, and roll on the floor with my babies. Maybe i can relax a bit, oh wait, now it's time to cook dinner, do the dishes, and maybe because i'm so ambitious, throw in a load (or two) of laundry since the boys room is just about ready to throw up with clothes that either need to get sorted, folded, washed, put away, or boxed!

5:00 - 6ish - eat my dinner while tending to either of the boys in between bites. Usually consists of sounds of either crying or whining or my yelling or mommy this and mommy that.

6:30ish - hubby arrives home from work, and maybe, just maybe i can find a little time to just be alone while i get ready to work out.

Oh yeah, i forgot, "alone" is not a word that i recognize at home, because everywhere i go, even the bathroom, i get stalked (because momma's boy number one will realize that i suddenly disappeared out of his peripheral view, and looks for me in our not-so-big house as if i ditched him in purpose. So as if we were playing hide and go seek, he happily seeks me in the bathroom and asks me if i need help with the toilet paper - - at least he's helpful!)

7:00 - 8ish - out to my kickboxing class! finally! no thinking allowed here - just kicking and punching (and i'd like to keep it that way)

8:00 - 9:30 - another RUSH of madness as the boys are fed, showered, & put to bed.

9:30 - 11:00 - maybe now i can relax, oh wait, i still have dishes to do, lunch box/back pack/diaper bag to pack, and milk bottles to make and just after i'm done with that, i have to put in about an hour of work running a report and checking emails

11:00 - by this time, I am waaaay too tired to even relax, or speak to my husband, i head off to bed, but not to sleep right away because by this time, i start worrying about tomorrow, and how i can fit even more stuff

*****like the bills i have to pay, the checking account that i need to balance, the never ending story of laundry, vacuuming, and mopping, the invitations that i volunteered to make, the package that i promised to send, the haircut/pedicure/waxing that i will probably never get done because, that alone, requires special planning and strategy....the swimming lessons that's about to restart in two weeks, the online course that i signed up for, which is about to start next week...the leaky tire on my car, which by the way needs an oil change and a tune up...oh yeah, i probably also have to go on ebay too to pick up some more formula for the baby, which by the way, i forgot to check the pantry how many more cans are left!*****

on my already full day...... and tomorrow, it starts all over again!

But before it starts all over again, i get awakened by the baby waiting for feeding or patting or just cuddling about 3 to 4 times a night, so really, by the time i really really fall asleep, and fall asleep again in between the times i wake up 3 or 4 times, i probably guestimately sleep an average of 5 hours a night.


Like i said, i am exhausted and ready to crack. BUT right when i'm just about to cry and blow-up.... i look at these two and every feeling of sadness, madness & exhaustion disappears. Because my heart gets filled with love and joy. And right there and then i realize that i do the things that i do, not out of obligation, nor duty. With a blink of an eye, i have become the mother i never thought i could possibly be...the one who learns, loves, and gives, and asks for nothing in return. This, afterall, is what being mommy is all about - it is a learning experience, love beyond measure and imagination, overwhelming, extra-ordinary, and most of all, unconditional.

Just venting

Is it just me or does every other mom out there feel like their weekdays are just filled with never-ending to-do lists???? I try to get as organized as i possibly can to keep my sanity, for instance, last Thursday, I created this week's daily menu to avoid having to think about what to eat and what to serve every single day. I went grocery shopping over the weekend and checked off everything I need on my list.

Then Monday came, school started, and already, at 3.5 yrs old, wonder boy has homework! Ok, so it's not like math or science, but it's a "Me Doll" that needs to be turned in on Thursday or Friday! To top it off, tomorrow is a "cookie" social so he needs to bring, get this, ONE cookie!!!! So it's not like I'm going to go out of my way and bake my oh-so-special homemade chocolate chip cookies so that he can bring just ONE! But that only means that we have to stop off the supermarket before school so we can pick up his ONE cookie.

Oh yeah, and then, tomorrow evening, they're having an "ice cream social" for parents and teachers and classmates to get to know each other! wth???? isn't that what Back 2 School Nights are for? Don't get me wrong, I plan on being heavily involved with my children's education and activities, and maybe even one day, be brave enough (or crazy enough) to volunteer as a room parent, but c'mon, this is preschool AND this is just the first week of school! Can't we just adjust to all of this first?

. . .

Back 2 WORK!

My life, as I have known it, for the past 7 months or so, has abruptly changed! I am now back to work, started back last Friday. Why Friday? Because I wanted to get that work feeling over with and have my weekend to do my reality check, and get back to work a little bit easier by Monday. And it worked!

But the night before I came back, I was sad, and anxious, and just in disbelief! I've been off of work since the 3rd week of December, and returning the second time around (I left for the same amount of time when Lawrence was born) is even harder because now, I have two little needy boys to leave behind. It almost felt as if I was breaking up with my "home-maker" self, who, bakes muffins for breakfast, and who walks her kids to the park twice a week, and who really, truly enjoys just doing absolutely nothing but play little piggies with my babies!

And now this, work!

Friday came, and the weekend, and the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and now, I'm soooo glad to be back! lol! Besides my whole eye dilemma (I'll make a separate post for this), I can't believe how relaxed I am here, it's like being at a spa, away from the kids! Plus, I am loving my new and improved 9am - 1pm schedule. the day is going by so fast. And because i've been doing the same (boring) thing that I do, everything came back to me as if I never even left! I love work, and my coworkers aren't bad at all, they're like my second family. And as you can see, even with my shortened, part-time hours, I still have the time to blog, and surf, and shop, etc.

. . .

A promise to blog

Ok so I decided to ditch my old blogsite as everytime I tried to start a new blog , I was not motivated enough to continue what I had started. I really really really need to keep up with the writing, not only for my own personal outlet, but I really really really need to start journaling my childrens milestones.